astrabear
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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in the "astrabear" journal:[<< Previous 20 entries]
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02:46 am
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Riiiiiight
| PARENTAL | | ADVISORY | ASTRABEAR CONTAINS
EXPLICIT LYRICS |
From Go-Quiz.com
Current Location: HOME....DERR!
Current Mood:  lethargic
Current Music: depressing music
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02:16 am
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I dont know why i bother...
having a live journal....I could just as easily tell all of this straight to Dee in person......*sigh*
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11:59 am
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what the bleepery?
My Personality
| | Neuroticism | | Extraversion | | Openness To Experience | | Agreeableness | | Conscientiousness | |
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10:34 am
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I thought that i had been around.....guess not...
create your own visited states map
or check out these Google Hacks.
Only 13 states, for some reason i thought that i had been to a lot more, and Colorado doesnt really count, because well i never left the airport...but hey! whatev
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10:22 am
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I am Batman!
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10:16 pm
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My highway to hell...
Current Location: Dee's House...YAY im somewhere else...
Current Mood:  okay
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01:27 pm
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Just random thoughts..
So..I actually have a lil bit of money...so today is grocery shopping, i hate shopping...having to budget a small amount of money...its just frustrating...however i am excited to actually get some food into the house....
Today i get to take my god son Christopher home...hes spending the night with me, why am i so excited about this? I see him everyday and hes stays with us occasionally...Its just nice knowing i have a god son that likes spending time with me...that and it gives me a REAL chance to see how well Chris gets along with a kid...it gives me hope for the future. Plus Christopher is cute!
So i realized something last night, i CAN stand up to my boyfriend. Im tired of being run over with my views on how things are used in our relationship...and last night i simply lost my mind in his general direction. I dont think i have ever been that upset, but yet so gratified at the same time...it felt good to stand up for myself and not be afraid that the second the fight is over that hes going to leave me. I think i like this new power...I like knowing that its okay to get upset and show emotion...and knowing that *I* was right in the end! BOO CHRIS...Hooray BEER! I dont know why i said that..it twas funneh!
Im sooo happy that im off for the next 2 days! Im gonna hang out, clean my house, go shopping for FOOD! Relax and watch the VMA's tomorrow!
Alright i guess that is all...I must go take a shower..and actually straighten my hair! wow its been forever since it last looked decent! Then its off to buy food...actual food! Hooray Food!
Current Location: Hmm i wonder...
Current Mood:  indescribable
Current Music: "Lightning Crashes" by LIVE
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12:08 pm
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But I dont wanna...
Go to work today all by myself!
Current Mood:  sleepy
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01:59 pm
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Dammit
Shitty Titty Rat Fuck, Cunt Piss Whore! I'm depressed. that its all.
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11:07 am
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Just in a shitty mood...
Well i havent posted in a bit because ive been busy...but then again my two listeners already know that...
Work has been sucking...im always working there alone....and i dont think that my boss really gets the hint that i need help sometimes and that she cant just expect to throw me back into the mix when i have issues walking and i still dont know where everything has gone to...why must things be changed around for no good reason? I mean if it made sense then fine...but why change a good thing? how gay.
Well, my boss is just annoying me, she wont answer her god damn phone then when she does notice that theres missed calls from the daycare she gets attitude with me about the calls...BITCH...read your god damn voicemails..dont talk to me about it i just got here! Oh yea and arent i susposed to call you when theres a change?! ANSWER YOUR GOD DAMN PHONE! stupid bitch doesnt know how to run a business she just knows that she can rely on Dee and i to make sure that everything is still taken care of! You fucking Homo Ms Lisa. Oh yea and she needs to learn to schedule people right, because AGAIN im going to be alone tomorrow with tons of kids and she simply doesnt give a flying fuck. Man i just wanna call DHS and just tip them off that shes running a shitty daycare...and it would either kick her ass into gear or fuck me over royally.
Yea i havent said but 2 words to chris since we got home, that dick pissed me off. Okay he always pulls up to work and leaves the car on, well ive told him before that i dont like him leaving the engine running because it idles rough and i dont like hearing it in the daycare at 11pm. So i text messaged him tonight asking him to shut the car off....he responded with "why should i?" and i said "because everytime i hear it i think that its quentin and alyssas mom here", and he says "well cant you just see the headlights pull up?" and i said "fine whatever" because well obviously i cant because ms lisa moved the table into the back where i cant see the door and if i sit over by the bathroom i still cant see all that well...and he knows this! he responded with "if youve noticed its fucking shut off".....ohohohohoho...i know that i shouldnt have gotten so upset....but its my fucking car...he knows i hate the sound of it idleing and he gets to sit on his ass all day and watch movies and play his fucking games and drive my car around...and spend MY money to buy himself extra ciggs. FUCK YOU BUDDY!
i know im always ranting, but until he gets a fucking job its just going to be like this...i dont like him telling me what hes going to spend our money on after its already been done. i dont know what to do anymore...im really afraid that if he doesnt shape up and get a job soon i just dont know what to do anymore....he got a call from his mom last night and she was pretty much asking us to move to texas or to california so that my family or his dad can support us. WTF y0? this isnt my fault that i couldnt work this last month...and suddenly shes trying to pawn us off to other parents...i was upset, not because she wants us outta her hair but because chris did absolutely nothing about it...he just looks at me and says "shes just stressed about money" wtf? arent you Chris? or do you just think that everyone is going to pick up your peices for you? he is so unmotivated its driving me insane...he needs to grow up fast or this isnt going to last...fucking dick!
im done, im just going to go take a codeine and die now...hopefully that will help my mind slow down.
thanks for listening...and please let me know if im being outta line!
Current Location: where the fuck do u think?
Current Mood:  annoyed
Current Music: Radio....thank christ!
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01:19 am
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One fucked up family
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12:44 am
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My tum tum hurts...
Yea so my tum tum hurts... i dont really understand the pain either, its not like OH GOD IM GOING TO BE SICK....but its just a constant unsettlement. I dont know why its been like this for a few days and i am really hungry at times, then when i try to eat, i just dont want it anymore. I wonder whats going on in there...i swear im possessed by a little alien that hates me.
Okay i was just in the bathroom and discovered something thats just plain annoying...i bought these really nice towels a few weeks ago, and mine is dark blue and covered in stars, and i washed it recently and now it looks like complete and total ass, there are thousands of little fuzzy's all over my bathroom from this damn towel....its like i go and get this great thing that i like and then god has to come down and ruin something so insignificant just to fuck with me, i cant even use this towel until the fuzzys are gone, they get all over me, all over the bathroom and all over the cats....little things like that just irritate me!
Okay so Leyla won the Diva search...fine shes pretty and sexy and whatnot, but why the hell do the fans get to pick? i mean does WWE really just want another pretty face or do they want a women that can actually do stuff? Jen whipped her ass in the arm wrestling, Jen had muscules and she wasnt half back in here talent stuff, atleast she showed off her skills as to what she is capable of doing in the ring...atleast she didnt just shake her fake tits and her giggly ass in the camera and shit! Jen can actually work the mic too. Im just irritated that the FANS of wrestling picked a women thats nothing more than a pretty thing to look at. Is that so wrong of me to look at the talents and not the goods under the hood and trunk? Wow maybe its just that im a girl and am jealous of pretty women like Leyla or what?
Oh Oh Oh and talking about pretty women...the Miss Teen USA pagent has been going on, i only know this because Lindy wanted to watch a few minutes of this crap! And you know what i would like to see more often in pagents like those...where are the women with multicolor hair? no more of this blonde or burnette bullshit. I'd also like to see a woman or two with a Tattoo or something! Or how about this, a woman with a birthmark...or a gothic woman...a woman that wears far too much eye liner....its like every one of these ladies is nothing more than a carbon copy of barbie! Now that i think about it i dont think that i saw a single black woman there. That aint cool...I'd like to see a big ole samoan woman...or an asian! Holy shit people i want variety! I demand variety! you cannot choose between nothing but boring normal perfect women! Not all of america looks like that shit!
okay my ranting is done...nothing further for tonight!
Current Location: Home...yay! and my waters back on....
Current Mood: drained
Current Music: FUCKING CHRONO FUCKING TRIGGER!
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01:20 am
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Bleh..
So I have been feeling mildly better, my nose congestion is still there, only its also moved into my chest, which is now triggering my asthma. On a better note, the home remedy of putting Peroxide in the ears, actually helped, they arent one hundred percent better, but getting there.
Tomorrow is going to be a tough day to get through...i have my Orthopaedic appointment, and hopefully they wont demand i pay them today, cause wow if they do im so screwed, what i want to happen is for me to just waltz up in there and be all like "Ma'am I can obviously walk, not well but i can, give me a doctors note stating that I may return to work!" and just walk off. But i know that this isnt a possibility, nor do i have the balls to say something that rude to someones face. But after all of that crap is taken care of....I need to speak to my boss and give her the note. Now im hoping to god that this will be a peaceful meeting, however i dont see it happening like that. It can go one of two ways..i walk in there dont say a damn thing to her and simply hand her the docotrs note, OR she will say something retarded to me or to Dee infront of me and i lose my mind in her direction and end up quitting. Which i really dont hope will happen because I REALLY need the money. No matter how much bullshit i do have to put up with at work im sure Chris wants me to keep going there.
Which reminds me of a conversation i had with him in the car on the way home...He said " We should prolly stop by the Board of Education on the way home from the doctors for you to get an application"....EXCUSE ME?! WTF! Bitch I got a job! one that im going back to SATURDAY! and you want me to go look for another one, when you aint even got one! YOU MOTHER FUCKING HOMO! I of course just said "no i aint" in the car, but man i was furious....WHY THE FUCK DONT YOU GO PUT IN AN APPLICATION! man some days i really just dont think its fair. When i quit Sylvan 2 years ago, it was because of the commute all the way into nashville for only 25 hours a week...i went a MONTH without a job, mainly because i had savings that i was living on and i was enjoying not having to work. That bitch gave me crap for a month about getting another job, constantly hed bring home the paper, take me places to put in an application, just bitch at me for not having one. on day 30, i went and got another job. Now After we both quit asurion, i got a job in a little over a month...he on the other hand was working for a company that DIDNT PAY HIM! he stayed at this shit hole of a job for like 5 months! then quits that, sits on his ass for another 2 months without a job, while im working shitty jobs just to cover his ass. and how hes been outta job for almost 3 months! ooo im so pissed...it seems like im always the one working, in any of my relationships not just this one. why is that? why am i always the one struggling? why am i always the one working the shitty hours and the shitty jobs for shitty wages?
Im sorry i dont mean to rant, but i guess thats what this journal is for then huh?
ON A GREAT NOTE: MY CABLE IS BEING TURNED ON TOMORROW!!!!!!
Golden girls and Roseanne here i come!
well i think that im done with the negativity, i really need to quit that. Bad Dana, Bad Dana!
shout outs to my two listeners!
Nighty Night!
Current Location: theres no place like home
Current Mood:  worried
Current Music: FUCKING CHRONO TRIGGER!!
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11:09 pm
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get in there and DO HER!!!
Comment and:
1. I'll respond with something random about you.
2. I'll challenge you to try something.
3. I'll pick a color that I associate with you.
4. I'll tell you something I like about you.
5. I'll tell you my first/clearest memory of you.
6. I'll tell you what animal you remind me of.
7. I'll ask you something I've always wanted to ask you.
8. If I do this for you, you must post this in your journal.
Current Location: derr...
Current Mood:  stressed
Current Music: guess what?...
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10:25 pm
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I feel like Death..
Okay so im posting this so that i may have something to concentrate on so that i dont get dizzy again...
Today started okay, i felt a little better from yesterday...my sore throat has disipated a bit, however i have now gained possible ear infections...which now means that i have to go the the ER. Which i dont wanna have to do for just tonsilits, and some ear infections and nasual problems, and some minor vommiting.
However i on WebMd that a warm compress may be applied for the pain only, not to clear up the infection....and another interesting point they said...ear infections in adults that still have their tonsils can trigger both tonsilitis and ear infections...hmm..the doctors have been telling me for years that i need to have my tonsils removed because i am having far too many outbreaks...you think that they could have told me earilier that my tonsilitis could also be triggering chronic ear infections...of course not! because now i have no insurance and i would obviously need it inorder to have surgery to get my tonsils and adnoids removed. Bastages! Why dont doctors what to do their jobs when you are covered by insurance??
I think this whole think is bullshit, stress is causing me all these issues...my chronic ear infections, constant tonsilitis, my ulcer which isnt getting better which is what my last doctor told me....and the fact that my neck is so stiff now that i cant even turn away from the comp to look at the tv. I dont know what to do. Get more stressed out by having to go see another doctor and spend more money that i dont have...or deal with the pain and see if it gets better on its own...and of course i am going to go back to work sometime in the next week and not only can i barely walk a straight line, but i cant hear all that well, cant swallow, cant breathe through my nose and can barely move my neck. Why must i fall apart now? why not when im old and gray? I feel like im 80 years old and its just not fair!
Okay im tired of getting mad at my computer. im now going to try the warm compress thing on my ears and see if that works, and im going to eat some more soda crackers and see if that helps my vommiting. Life sucks! i just wanted to let you all know that!
oh and to top my day off, Tucker is having an alien baby....please god dont tell me thats whats instore for my future!
Current Mood:  nauseated
Current Music: guess what? more Chrono Trigger
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02:38 pm
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Bleh...
| What You Really Think Of Your Friends | | Jason is your soulmate. | | You truly love Chris. | | You consider Wendy your true friend. | | You know that Dee is always thinking of you. | | You'll remember Geoff for the rest of your life. | | You secretly think Jamie is creative, charming, and a bit too dramatic at times. | | You secretly think that Alexis is colorful, impulsive, and a total risk taker. | | You secretly think that Chrissy is loyal and trustworthy to you. And that Chrissy changes lovers faster than underwear. | | You secretly think Brandy is shy and nonconfrontational. And that Brandy has a hidden internet romance. |
Current Location: Where do you think?
Current Mood: crappy
Current Music: Chrono Trigger AGAIN
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01:25 pm
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...
I'm very sick....that is all...
Current Location: Home
Current Mood: sick
Current Music: nothing, my cable is out AGAIN
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09:50 pm
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AH!
So...Today started out as a really good day...
It wasnt hot, so i decided to spend 2 long hours straightening my hair, went out to eat with the best of friends, had a good time at the mall which isnt something i get to do all that often anymore, and finally bought some food for the house, and some other MUCH needed items...
But then as the day grew longer, my day only got worse....it rained all over hell and back, so my hair is completely frizzed and it had to be put up, my ankle is swollen from all of the walking and slidding on slippery sandals..(why doesnt it rain on days i wear tennis shoes?), my throat is trying to commit suicide, i have a migrane, and i could barely see us on SMACKDOWN!
Actually not all that bad of a day, but my throat is whats bothering me right now, i took this magic mouth wash that the doctor gave me a few months back for my tonsilitis, and now my entire mouth is numb and odd. i can barely hold a cig in it because i cant feel my lips, and swallowing is unbareable. it feels like my throat wants to implode. OUCH!
On a better note, Chris is going to go look for jobs tomorrow! YAY....not like anything is going to come of that...
Im off...to LaLa land
P.S. to make matters worse...MY FUCKING SATTELITE IS OUT AGAIN!
Current Location: Home AGAIN!
Current Mood: sick
Current Music: Chrono Trigger AGAIN
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11:11 pm
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Weird Dreams...
Okay, so last night i am extremely tired and actually fall asleep fast....but i swear to god that the second i shut my eyes im already dreaming....
I dreampt that Chris and i couldnt get pregnant so i finally go see a doctor and they told me that thee only possibility i could get pregnant is through envitro or whatever...so okay fine we start that process....well it is successful however the doctor assures me that i will be having atleast twins because of this process...okay thats fine we decide that we could handle that....i begin to get hugely pregnant real quick....
then suddenly i am awaken but Malibu my cat licking my eye lashes, i pet him for a minute hoping that as soon as i fall asleep my dream will not continue...minutes later im asleep again...
Im suddenly being rushed into the hospital because of pain, that and the fact that i was HUGE! the doctor looks at me and does an ultra sound...his face gets white! 2 seconds later i hear him counting...1..2...3...4...5...9...10! the doctor stops for a moment looks at me and tells me that i am pregnant with 10 babies...what is that like dectuplets? i dunno what he called it, but anyway, no sooner than me leaving the doctors office to go inform everyone that i know that i am having 10 children...there is a huge mob outside the doctors office, news reporters, people holding signs, people rubbing my belly..and so forth...i finally make it home and tell everyone that i know and show them all 10 of the ultrasounds that they had taken...the next day i go into labor, like 3 months early...im promptly losing my mind...and they deliver all 10 of them, all weighing 3 pounds each! there were 5 girls and 5 boys...we named them Jade Anne, Aurora Star, Morgan Sky, Jordan Hope, Jamie Grace...now the boys were Zach Hayden, Scott Lance, Kevin Lawrence, Trent Lee, and the last one was named Michael Joseph. Once we finally left the hospital we had to use all of out friends cars to take all of these kids home, once we got home there was a man sitting on our porch with a giant truck of some kind...he went with us inside and offered us new cars to pick from, laid out plans on builting us a 12 bedroom house...he unloaded 10 cribs, giant strollers....it was insane our tiny apt was being turned into a circus...funnily enough not a one of these children cried during my entire dream...im not going to go into any more detail because wow there is too much to tell...
do you think there was any point to that dream at all? when i woke up i sat up and stared all around me making sure that it wasnt all true, i was just a tad freaked out. I couldnt even begin to imagine how life would change if i became a mother of 10 children all in one day.
on a weirder note: i left the house this morning with 4 cats and a few fleas here and there, Malibu just jumped oh my lap covered in fleas...i mean all over him, and he actually let me pick him, which he usually doesnt let me do, but all of my other cats barely have any? WTF? i now must go buy flea killer and stuff cause that poor thing doesnt deserve to be covered in fleas...
it is still early however i am a bit tired...im going to go take a long hot bubble bath...
toodles
Current Location: Home as usual
Current Mood: groggy
Current Music: Chrono Trigger for playstation
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10:56 pm
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Teh Cuteness
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